Behind Closed Doors with Sarah Kang
Sarah Kang is a Korean American jazz-soul-R&B singer/songwriter based in New York City who will be performing in our upcoming solo artist Keepsake show. Tickets are on sale now! In this interview, Sarah chats with Jay and Hailey about the origins and evolution of her music making, playing the French horn, sister bands, and meanings of freedom.
In this semi-weekly blog series, we post in-depth interviews that take you behind closed doors (or #BCD) with independent artists, many of whom have performed or will perform in a Keepsake show.
Jay:
How did music and songwriting “begin” for you?
Sarah:
For me, the beginnings of music and songwriting were separate. I know, Jay, you’ve been writing songs since you were ten or something, but I didn’t explore that then.
My mom was a piano and classical music teacher, so there was music playing all the time at my house. Kids were always over after school taking lessons with my mom. She taught me piano too, until I quit. My sisters also really liked to sing and play instruments, so I think music was naturally around me all the time.
Then in middle school, I joined the school band and I played the French horn. That was a pretty big part of my life. I thought I wanted to play professionally when I went to college.
Singing was a fun thing to do, but I was always too scared to sing in front of people. Then I went to college and joined an a cappella group. I think I only did it because my older sister also joined an a cappella group in college, and basically in every way, I wanted to be like her. In some ways, it’s still true—I really respect and admire her a lot. But when I joined a cappella, I realized that I really like performing and that singing doesn’t have to be a solitary or private hobby.
From there, I explored singing more. I started to sing in my college church choir with my husband, Andrew, who also sang. But I wasn’t writing songs yet. I dabbled for fun, writing lyrics in my journal and stuff, but I didn’t write an actual song until senior year of college.
There was a school-wide compilation album submission, where you could submit an original song, and then the students who ran the school recording studio would help you arrange and record it for a compilation album. I think a friend told me about it and encouraged me to participate, so I did. I wrote a whole song and submitted it. I’ve been trying to write songs ever since.
Hailey:
I remember hearing that you were a French horn player and thinking that was super unique. Would you ever revisit that or potentially play French horn again, maybe even include it in the music you’re writing now?
Sarah:
“When I started performing, I felt more comfortable, like it was a way in which I can express who I am and the ideas I’ve formed into songs and have people listen and understand, and it doesn’t have any of the elements that make me uncomfortable in social situations. I don’t have to talk to anyone or navigate a conversation.”
I have dreams and fantasies about it, but part of playing the French horn is having the muscle built for it. I’ve lost all of that. I’m kind of scared to start playing it again and hear how bad I sound.
Jay:
Do you still have your French horn?
Sarah:
I do, but I haven’t played it since junior year of college, which was almost ten years ago. Everything on the horn is stuck—the pipes are stuck, you can’t press the buttons down—so I would have to get it repaired to start playing again. I would love to explore that.
It would be so cool to just whip it out at a live show!
Hailey:
Or even in your recordings! Who else has their own French horn part in a contemporary pop-jazz song?
Sarah:
That would be so cool.
Jay:
Speaking of live music, can you describe your relationship with live music and performing? I know for me, being an introvert and being on stage don’t always mix well together. Who are some artists whose work you love seeing live? How would you describe a Sarah Kang show to someone?
Sarah:
I will say, because the beginning of me singing publicly was with an a cappella group that performed a lot, I feel like performing was a major way in which I realized that I love singing and making music. I’m also an introvert, so I’ve never felt comfortable being in the spotlight, public speaking, presenting, anything where the attention is on me. But I think when I started performing, I felt more comfortable, like it was a way in which I can express who I am and the ideas I’ve formed into songs and have people listen and understand, and it doesn’t have any of the elements that make me uncomfortable in social situations. I don’t have to talk to anyone or navigate a conversation. That’s something I appreciate about performing.
“Singing in church is just singing with people who are your friends and family. Singing is a way you’re connecting with God and with each other, and no one is evaluating you [...] I think that’s always been a space where I feel very free. ”
I love when I make eye contact with someone while I’m singing. I know they feel slightly uncomfortable, but I feel like we just made a connection, whether you liked it or not.
There are so many people I look up to, but recently I’ve been loving Yebba. I recently watched her Tiny Desk concert, and I was amazed. She seems like she’s being herself but is also really charismatic. I think her live performances of specific songs never sound the same. I appreciate how she is not one to compromise who she is in her music, and that shows in the way she performs. I would like to be more like that.
Different people have different ideas about what performing is. The word “perform” means to put on an act, but I do dislike it when I see a performance and I can tell the performer is putting on an act. Is this the real you we’re getting right now, or is this just a performance? So I hope that in my live performances, people think, this is just Sarah, this is who she is. That might be awkward and not that natural all the time, but that’s okay.
I would like to be able to be more expressive, not just vocally, but with my presence. Right now I’m very confined. I don’t know what to do with my hands!
Hailey:
That’s a classic problem for a lot of people!
Sarah:
Yeah, even in photos! What am I supposed to do?
Hailey:
Exactly!
You mentioned how connected you are with your family (mother, sister, husband) and your church, both of which have given music to your life. Other than giving you a platform to learn and perform your music, how have those communities and people inspired the music itself that you write? Do they enjoy listening to your music?
Sarah:
My parents weren’t always 100% supportive of me pursuing music. I think they always saw it as a nice extracurricular activity. They valued music, but as a career they thought it was impractical. But they’ve definitely come around in the last five years or so, as they’ve seen how much I enjoy it and how alive I feel when I’m doing it. At the end of the day, that’s what they want for their children.
My music is very different from the music they would probably choose to listen to, but they do listen to all of it. They’ll message me when I release something and tell me it was very nice! My mom likes to flatter me. She’ll call me a genius! Aww, Mom.
Hailey:
That’s great! The stereotype of piano teachers, especially and unfortunately for Asian American piano teachers, is that they’re quite strict. It’s nice that she’s flattering you!
Sarah:
I think my mom had a strict streak, but she’s always wanted me to do what makes me happy. My mom is not really a tiger mom.
And both my sisters still sing at church and for fun. I think they both genuinely enjoy the music that I make. I hope! I hope they’re not lying. Even more than childhood, I think we all have come to enjoy singing as adults. I played a show in Boston in 2017 or 2018, and both my sisters were there and sang together. That’s still one of my favorite memories. It’s really cool when you have real-life harmonies that blend really well because you have similar voices.
Hailey:
It’s like HAIM! Three sisters. You should start a band!
Sarah:
Oh, we’ve had dreams. Have you heard of a band called The Staves? They’re also three sisters. There are actually a lot of sister bands.
Hailey:
So cool! I’ll have to check them out.
Do you still sing at church, and has your relationship between the church and music influenced your current music making?
Sarah:
Since I started in college, I’ve never stopped singing in church. It’s really freeing because, I think in the artist world, there is a lot of self-consciousness. We wonder, am I putting stuff out that is good? Do people like this? Is this high level enough, or artsy enough, or whatever the criteria is internally? That kind of dialogue is happening more. But singing in church is just singing with people who are your friends and family. Singing is a way you’re connecting with God and with each other, and no one is evaluating you. It’s not about wondering if the music is good; this is just how we’re experiencing God together. I think that’s always been a space where I feel very free.
I really appreciate that, and I try not to bridge the two internally. I just think that’s how I should feel about singing all the time. Music makes me free, and singing is a way of expressing how I view the world and what’s important to me. Maintaining that mindset can be a struggle, though. I hope I’m growing in that way.
Jay:
You’ve been collaborating a ton! What’s something you love about working with another artist, and what’s something you love about creating on your own?
Sarah:
For the longest time, I avoided collaborating, because it just felt too difficult. But I think I’ve found a good rhythm or process. It’s hard for me to sit down with a blank sheet with someone and just write a song together. That still feels difficult for me, even though for some people it’s really easy. I’ve found what works better for me is if someone already has either a song that is fully fleshed out, or if they have an idea that they’ve started working on that I can contribute vocals to or write a verse for. That usually works out a little better, and I’ve done the same thing for my own music. I’ll start a song and then send it to someone to add some element to it.
I think it’s very easy for artists to get in their own head. Collaborating helps to turn your view from inward to outward and experience this other person’s mind. What are they thinking about? What makes them tick? It’s interesting and inspiring for me.
“When I let go of the obligation to create so much, or of a certain quality, I felt freedom to make whatever I wanted to. Is it perfect? No, but oh well, just put it out! Someone will enjoy it. The pandemic taught me to be less self-serious in some way, and less of a perfectionist.”
On the flip-side, I do really enjoy working alone. Because I’m such an internal processor, it’s hard for me to verbalize exactly what I’m thinking sometimes. Jay, you might agree, because we’re kind of similar, but I think there is some type of magic that happens when you’re by yourself. When you’re freed from other people’s perceptions, that’s when the ideas just flow. I think that’s what I enjoy about solo work.
Hailey:
That’s why Bon Iver’s best album (For Emma, Forever Ago) came after he isolated himself in the woods for a year. A lot of artists do that. There’s something about forcing yourself to be alone and away from technology that can activate your mind and creativity in really powerful ways.
I know Jay has spoken to you more, but I’ve barely seen you during the pandemic. How has this last year and a half affected you and your music? You just performed live at a SoFar Sounds concert and have performed here and there. How does it feel to play live again?
Sarah:
In the beginning of the pandemic, which feels like forever ago, people who are privileged enough to work from home and found themselves with all this extra time had a kind of pressure to be as productive as possible. This is your time to create and put out as much as you can! That really discouraged me because I just don’t operate like that. Then, when I let go of the obligation to create so much, or of a certain quality, I felt freedom to make whatever I wanted to. Is it perfect? No, but oh well, just put it out! Someone will enjoy it. The pandemic taught me to be less self-serious in some way, and less of a perfectionist.
I think another cool thing was that, even though it was already available to us, in the pandemic people became more open to connecting online. A lot of my main collaborators right now I just met online. The producer I’ve been working with a lot, I met him for the first time a few weeks ago when I was in California! That was really weird, but was really fun too. Online accessibility has led to a lot of new collaborations and friendships.
“I think people find commitment to be not as romantic as falling in love, but staying in love is just as much or maybe more romantic to me.”
I have to say, honestly, I’m pretty nervous and scared [to perform live again]. At the SoFar show, I was so nervous. I had to go to the bathroom every ten minutes beforehand. I was drinking too much water because of my nerves! I think I just had so much time to record new music, but you’re allowed to make mistakes when you record, because you can record it again. With live music, you have one shot with this one song in this particular time. That’s a little nerve-wracking for me. Do I remember how to do that? Do I remember how to play live? I don’t know!
Hailey:
And there are some songs you’ve written that you haven’t yet played live, right?
Sarah:
Yeah, a lot of them!
But I’m also excited. It’s been a while. I haven’t played with a band in a really long time, so I’m excited--and nervous--about that.
Jay:
You released your third EP, maybe I’m better now, this year. Can you tell us more about that project? What was the inspiration behind the songs and the title?
Sarah:
I really wanted to write something about growth, and I hadn’t released a project with a selection of songs that were meant to be together since 2019. It felt like a lot happened in the last couple years, personally but also musically, and a question I felt myself asking a lot was, am I a better singer now? Am I a better musician? That way of evaluating myself as a being was not healthy, because that is not all that I do or all that I am.
So then I intentionally started thinking, am I just doing better? Am I a more full, whole human being who is healthier and better, not just better at the things that I do? That’s where the title came from. I don’t know where the idea for the song titles came from, or why I thought it would be so cool to make the song titles each match a word from the EP title. I always have a running list of ideas I want to write songs about, so from there, I took each idea and gave it a title that matched the name of the EP.
I wanted to address topics like mental health and commitment. I think people find commitment to be not as romantic as falling in love, but staying in love is just as much or maybe more romantic to me. That’s something I’ve learned over time, which was another song theme, things learned since childhood. That’s the last song, “now I know,” which might be my favorite one.
Jay:
That’s my favorite too.
Sarah:
Thank you!
So yeah, I kind of wanted the EP to be a record of the things I’ve been thinking about and ways I’ve been growing in my late 20s. I hope there are things about the EP that others can relate to as well.
Hailey:
You mentioned that your music now has evolved from the first music you ever wrote, and I think it has evolved even since the EP One that you released in 2019. For anyone who is less familiar with your music, how would you describe its evolution? And where do you see your music and career going forward?
Sarah:
When I was writing One, I was really inspired by jazz music. I think I always have been, but I felt like I couldn’t call myself a jazz musician because I wasn’t trained in jazz theory and I’m not crazy technically skilled. I didn’t allow myself to explore jazz for a while, until I started writing that EP and met Taka, who is opening for my Keepsake House show. He was a really big collaborator for that EP. He helped me write three out of the five songs on it, which was when I realized that you can do whatever you want, with the confidence and the collaborators that can help you get there! Taka was that friend for me. He can play all the jazz chords and I just have to sing it. So that’s why that project is so jazz and piano focused.
I still loosely hang on to the jazz elements that I love in the way that I sing. I’ve added scatting to a lot of my songs. But I think another genre I always feel I’m not cool enough to do myself but that I love listening to is R&B. I also didn’t know if I could sing like that! But my curiosity led me to working with Patrick Hizon, whom I’ve worked with on a lot of the tracks I put out this year. He is more well versed in that genre and has been encouraging of me to explore. So my music has veered toward that direction, but I still wouldn’t call it fully R&B. It’s still a mixture of everything I like, which includes this new element of R&B.
I also realized that anybody can sing like that if they really want to! You don’t have to be able to do crazy runs to be an R&B singer. I think this new EP has been influenced in all of these ways.
Jay:
And track by track, each song [on the new EP] is really different.
Sarah:
Yeah.
Jay:
You can do whatever you want!
Sarah:
Exactly. That’s the theme of my progression, realizing I can do whatever I want!
Moving ahead, I don’t really know where my music will go. I do hope that even with the different styles that I’ve done and will do, I hope there is some common thread. I guess that’s my voice. My voice and the way I write won’t change that much. I do have this desire to be more heavily into R&B to see if I can do it, but then I started out really loving folk music, and I still find it to be incredibly moving in a way that other genres and styles are not. Very recently, in the last couple weeks, I’ve thought about leaning into that more again.
Hailey:
I would personally love that! I’d love any direction you go in, of course, but you know how much I’d love a folk direction.
Sarah:
And I feel like we live in a world now where genres are all mixing together. I was listening to Yebba’s album Dawn last night, and it’s definitely folk inspired, with gospel and R&B mixed in.
Hailey:
I’m listening to Kacey Musgrave’s new album, star-crossed, today. A portion of that album is inspired by traditional Mexican music, which I didn’t expect.
I’m also curious about how your music is tied to your identity as a Korean American. Some of your songs have Korean lyrics. You’ve also been growing a South Korean audience and have been featured in Korean commercials and on television there, which is different from connecting only with Korean Americans. Did you intend to build that connection, or did that surprise you, and how does it feel?
Sarah:
I definitely didn’t intend for it to happen. It wasn’t something on my radar or something I intentionally worked toward. I just got lucky, which I’m grateful for, and I think it’s because I got onto the music licensing site called Artlist a couple years ago, and they apparently have a lot of Korean users. Their fourth biggest market is South Korea. I also don’t think they had many Korean artists on their platform before, so people who used that platform—a lot of Youtube vloggers or people who make advertisements or soundtracks for TV shows—saw my Korean last name and were interested in my music. That kind of patriotism or camaraderie might have helped me. Then, when people in Korea hear the songs on those videos and shows, they might become interested enough to look for my music.
I have a lot of comments on Youtube from Korean listeners. Currently, “Summer is for Falling in Love” is my most listened to song, which I’m really surprised about, but it seemed to strike a chord with Korean listeners. I guess they like that chilled out vibe, and I have a lot of comments saying things like, I hear this in something, and now I find out it’s a Korean person?! I’m so proud! So there is this pride when Koreans discover that I am Korean, because they often just assume I’m a white American when they first hear my music.
Because this has been happening, I have a lot of gratitude, so I’ve been trying to include more Korean lyrics in my songs. A lot of people have commented that they love the songs but wish they knew what the lyrics meant, so it can be a cool, unexpected moment for them when the second verse is in Korean.
It’s also helped me dive deeper into the Korean part of my identity. I grew up listening to K-pop and Korean music all the time. Lyrically, it evokes a different emotional response to me [than English language music does]. It’s been fun to incorporate that. But it is interesting to see the relationship between Koreans and me. They still see me as different from them, and yet they feel this pride that I am Korean.
Hailey:
It’s interesting. As there are more and more Asian American musicians, and because there are so many big music markets in East Asia especially, it would be fascinating to explore what it means to make a sort of “diasporic music,” or music that specifically connects back to someone’s ethnic origin. It could put a ton of pressure on you to write music for Korea, but like you said it’s also lucky, because this huge audience has extra reason to invest in you thanks to you being Korean.
Sarah:
Yeah, and I think the American part of me makes the Korean fans not hold me to the same standards as Korean artists. There is more leeway for me to explore and do whatever I’ve been doing.
It’s interesting, though, there are actually quite a few Korean American artists who are signed to Korean labels and live and perform in Korea.
Sarah will perform in Keepsake’s first solo artist show at Hunky Dory in Crown Heights, Brooklyn on Monday, September 27. Buy tickets now!
Jay:
Can you tease anything about your upcoming Keepsake House show?
Sarah:
I do have a new song I’m going to play. I wrote a fall song!
Hailey:
You wrote a season song that isn’t about summer?! [Referencing Sarah’s many summer songs, which include: “Summer is for Falling in Love,” “For a Summer,” and “Summer Cold”]
Sarah:
You know, summer is actually not my favorite season. I just happen to write a lot about summer.
Jay:
What is your favorite season?
Sarah:
I think it’s spring, actually, but fall is probably my second favorite.
I’m also so excited about Taka’s opening set, possibly more than my own set!
Jay:
At Keepsake House, we talk a lot about the magic in live shows and the communities they help create, almost like every live performance is itself a keepsake that you cherish from a whole house of life experiences. Tell us about your most memorable or fulfilling live performance, the one you would grab first in a fire.
Sarah:
I think it is that show I played in Boston with my sisters, because my parents were actually there too. My second niece had just been born, so everyone was gathering there to see her. That was the first and only time so far that my parents have seen me perform my original music live, not playing the French horn or in a band. They never verbalized it, but I could tell that the show was what solidified for them that this was something I love doing and something they should be supportive of. I think that was a turning point in our relationship in terms of them supporting my career. I remember my mom was crying, or trying really hard not to cry, because I sang a song in Korean. That was very memorable for me.
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